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Is there really a way to not choke or gag wen giving someone head i mean seriously?
okie so i like to give ppl blow jobs. >.< and i usualy get complimented xD but theres one thing tht i havnt been able to figure out ... i hav this new boyfriend with a huge cock and i havnt given him oral yet but i want to but im afraid ill like gag and **** xD so is there like anything i can do to not gag or choke or something :3

Obviously there is as there are people who can swallow swords. The main thing you will note about them is they tilt their heads way back so the insert is in as straight a line as possible and the thought is relaxed. Obviously it takes much practice but it can be done.

Actual Complaints made to Housing Associations in Britain?
1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.

2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.

3. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow

4. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

5. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

6. Their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence

7. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.

8. My lavatory seat is cracked; where do I stand?

9. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

10. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path? My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

11. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

12. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy.

13. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers!

14. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the guyren until it is cleared.

15. Will you please send a man to look at my water. It is a funny color and not fit to drink.

16. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

17. I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.

18. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

19. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two guyren and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.

20. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night?

21. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.

I don't care what anybody else says, I've nearly had a stroke laughing at these! I've just come in from the hospital. I'm frozen and hungry so gotta mug of soup. I'm so pleased I had the forethought to get my ginormous bib out, the one I bought for reading Mr Vinsters Nigel blogs!
If they are old ones from here then I won't have seen em before cos I only took up computing in April, and if Jasper Carrot said hem well, I hated the man with a vengeance so would never have watched him! I am gonna give you a star, wrap it up and put it in your pocket cos I don't give em out very often, lol:-D

Genuine complaints received by councils-please star if u think its funny?
1) My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has
fungus growing in it.
2) ... and he's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I
just can't take it anymore.
3) ... it's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
4) I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt
my knob off.
5) I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he
put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
6) ... and their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls
against my fence.
7) I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet
roof.
I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.
8) My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
9) I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the
wall.
10) Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife
tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant. We are getting
married in September and we would like it in the garden before we move into
the house.
11) I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen
12) ...50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the
rest are plain filthy.
13) I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
14) The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the guyren until it is
cleared.
15) Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour
and not fit to drink.
16) Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
17) Would you please send a man to repair my spout. I am an old age
Pensioner and need it badly.
18) I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning
at 6am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.
19) The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is
unsightly and dangerous.
20) Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two guyren and would like a
third so please send someone round to do something about it.
21) I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please
do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every
night.
22) Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy
my wife.
23) I have had the clerk of the works down on the floor six times but I
still have no satisfaction.
24) This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't
get Channel BBC2 on the TV

hahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah… they r really humorous i cant stop laughing hahhahahahahahahahahahah

Council complaints...?
These are supposedly genuine clips from council complaint letters:

1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.

2. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.

3. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.

4. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

5. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

6. .... and their 18-year-old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

7. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof.I think it was the bad wind the other night that blew them off.

8. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

9. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

10. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path.My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday, and she is now pregnant.

11. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen, 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are plain filthy.

12. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.

13. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the guyren until it is cleared.

14. Will you please send a man to look at my water.It is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

15. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

16. I want to complain about the farm across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up, and its getting too much for me.

17. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden which is unsightly and dangerous.

18. Our kitchen floor is damp.We have two guyren and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.

19. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat, and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.

20. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.

21. I have had the Clerk of works down on the floor six times, but I still have no satisfaction.

22. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken and we can't get BBC2.

2, and 20 are HILARIOUS!!!
6 made me pee myself and choke on my cigarette, dude u r AWESOME..love your jokes!!!!
-Dee

Badly written Housing conplaints?
1) My bush is really overgrown round the front, and my back passage has fungus growing in it.

2) He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house, and I just can't take it anymore.

3) It is the dog's mess that I find hard to swallow.

4) I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

5) I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

6) And their 18-year-old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

7) I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.

8) My lavatory seat is cracked; where do I stand?

9) I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

10) Will you please send someone to mend the garden path? My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

11) I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

12) 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are plain filthy.

13) I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.

14) The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the guyren until it is cleared.

15) Will you please send a man to look at my water? It is a funny colour & not fit to drink.

16) I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up, and its now getting too much for me.

17) The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

18) Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two guyren and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.

19) I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.

20) Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.

Funny stuff..........thanks!

I really need help theres something wrong?
ok today my school called my home about something i did i wrote names like drew p cock and jack mehoff on my paper so im grounded and in huge trouble also i havnt been turning in any home work. thats all me i take blame for it. but the thing that i dont get is i dont remember some of it like ok this was a school asignment were we have to practice filling out job apps but the thing is somewhere on tehre i wrote stuff about homicde and killing and blowing up towers. i dont remember that part thats what is messing with me i honestly dont remember i have been under alot of stress lately there has been alot of problems. my friends say i have been changing they say i am becomeing a jerk my parents say it to. the last time this happend i was thirteen and i ws really stressed out and i started doing things that i wouldnt do. i dont get it iam really confused what do i do please help me i really need help

I agree with the previous responders. You need to see a therapist to get to the bottom of it. Your inability to remember doing things that occurred only days ago concerns me. I tend to believe the writings you describe are related to something more than tremendous stress.

You make no mention of your homelife other than the deserved grounding for the things that you owned up to. Do you have any history of abuse (physical, emotional, or sexual)? Can you remember if the strange happenings when you were 13 were similar in nature to those you're experiencing now (ie., violent thoughts) or were they different? Are you aware of the side-effects of any medications you might be taking? These are some of the things I suspect a therapist will be asking you.
Please, do take care of yourself and check in with a therapist. Good luck to you.

Bill
PS...Do your homework! A pain in the butt right now; but will pay dividends later!

Council Claims?
These are extracts from actual letters sent to various councils and housing associations throughout the UK:

I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
.... and their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.
My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand.
I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant. We are getting married in September and we would like it in the garden before we move into the house.
I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the rest are plain filthy.
I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the guyren until it is cleared.
Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.
Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
Would you please send a man to repair my spout. I am an old age pensioner and need it badly.
I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 4 am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.
The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two guyren and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.
I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night.
Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.
I have had the clerk of the works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.
This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken and we can't get BBC2.
My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
......and he's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just cant take it anymore.
......that is his excuse for dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.

l wonder how many of those were sent to the worse council in England, Coventry City council.......

Bizzare Complaints?
These are extracts from actual letters sent to various councils and Housing associations throughout the UK:

--------…

1. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

2. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

3. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

4. I wish to report that the tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was that bad wind the other night that blew them off.

5. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

6. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path, my wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant?

7. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen. 50% of them are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the rest are plain filthy.

8. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the guyren until it is cleared.

9. Will you please send a man to look at my water? It is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

10. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

11. I want to complain about the farmer across the road, every morning at 6:00am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.

12. The man next door has a large erection in the garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

13. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two small guyren and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.

14. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night.

15. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.

16. I have had the clerk of the works down on the floor six times but I still have had no satisfaction.

17. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus in it.

18. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it any more.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! These people were being serious writing these compliants. Oh drat, I laughed so hard, I have wet me self! Have a star on me!

What would you do if you were me?
What do you think?
I’m 26 I recently, a year ago bought a house with my wife to be. I got her a ring and then we decided to move out of our awesome apartment and into a new house with a new mortgage. The mortgage was 600 dollars more than our rent but we had the money to swing it so we got a house. I will say this for any young men like myself out there; think twice before making a serious finical commitment with someone else even if you make less money than them. THINK TWICE AND THAN THINK A THIRD TIME. Paying a mortgage ******* blows! So everything was great when we moved in I was the happy tool that mowed the lawn every Sunday. Our sex life even got a brief revamp but that’s once again declined. We got wonderful yellow lab. Now before I take a huge **** all over her life I in good faith have to take one on mine first. I’m the guy that sold pot through high school instead of getting a job. I’ve slept around. I’ve drooped out of college twice and I’m just now a year away from getting my bachelors. I have a habit of playing video games and watching movies until dawn. From time to time I get crazy drunk and do stupid **** with friends. I love internet porn. Bourbon with beer chasers and a pack of camel light are some of my favorite things. I want to **** every modestly attractive woman I see, nasty! I hate lame social events and I ***** every time she drags me to one or I find a way out of it. I will lie through my teeth if necessary. I drink too much in general and I smoke too many cigarettes. None of this ever interferes with me making a paycheck and making sure it’s on the kitchen table on pay day even though it is significantly less then hers.
Now onto her, when we first got together I had such a great time hanging out with her. We had a blast, played games, made food general good times. The sex was never great but I’ve been balls deep in a lot of dumb women’s mouths to open myself up to one very mentally stimulating okay ****. So I let that one slide I figured that with time she’d open up. The most open she’s ever gotten is lingerie and oral sex after we’ve both been freshly showered. Just for the sake of clarification I’m a good looking in shape guy who showers regularly and is almost always prone to wearing collared shirts I also have a fairly nice 7’’ cock. I’m not the best looking guy by any means and I know I’m not the biggest but I’m not bad. So back to the core problem she spends a great amount of her free time playing what are in my opinion really bad games on the internet. I’m talking about things like diner dash, pogo or find the stuff games. She also watches awful TV generally anything on bravo. I can’t ******* stand it. All of this came out in about year two of our relationship when I think she stopped putting on an act for me and started acting like herself.
So we have bad TV, bad game choices, bad sex and a general selfish lack of concern. For example getting up during dinner to get a drink and not offering to get me one that type of ****. I also always make the meals because she doesn’t like to cook. Women in this generation are so ****** they don’t like to touch raw meat because it’s yucky but they’ll pretend to be bi sexual in bars in there early twenties to get you interest. ******* lame! So the real problem is now I have a great house a kick *** dog a nice car and a woman that’s becoming more and more of a huge pain in the ***. With my shitty income what am I to do? Move into my grandparents, I mean ****, ****, **** and ****! All I want is some regular nasty sex that she’s never been able to give me.
If you respond don’t tell me relationships are hard work, **** you between school and work I’m trying as hard as I can here. I’ve done candled and that boring as hell tickling of the arms ****. I need my dick sucked without cleansing it in anti bacterial soap first. So I’m putting in the work I’m trying all my angles. Don’t bring god into it, and if you run into him tell him I’d like to chat.

I did not read everything you wrote. But I would say you too need to make the effort in spending at least a little bit of time doing what the other likes to do. Maybe play the same game for an hour or go for a walk. Go out for dinner, drinks, a movie or whatever else together at least a little bit each day. Sit next to her or massage her neck while she plays games. Go to the beach. Talk about work, school, family...
It really does not matter as long as you share your time together at least part of the day. If after that you still can't get along well it may be time to move on or seek some counseling.

Have you ever complained to the council about repairs not being done?
Genuine Council Complaints
extracts from letters sent to various Councils and Housing Associations throughout the U.K.

I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage and their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.

My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand.

I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant. We are getting married in September and she would like it in the garden before we move house.

I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the rest are plain filthy.

I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.

The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the guyren until it is cleared.

Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

Would you please send a man to repair my spout. I am an old age pensioner and need it badly.

I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6a.m., his cock wakes me up and now it's getting too much for me.

The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two guyren and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.

I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night.

Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.

I have had the Clerk of the Works down on the floor six times, but I still have no satisfaction.

This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken and we can't get BBC2.

My bush is really overgrown around the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.

...and he's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take any more.

...that is his excuse for dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.

Hahaha! That was great. I don't have a council, but, I have a husband and it does no good to complain to him about fixing things either! HA!